All You Need To Know About
Long Distance Sex
"At first, long distance sex made me blush... :+), But practice made our sex life so exciting!"
Does long distance sex embarrass you? Do you say to yourselves: "It's not for me... I’m not the type"? Or maybe you want to try it, yet you don't know how and where to start?
Ok ladies, Lets talk about SEX! (Sparks are guaranteed ;-)
There are ways to keep the fires flaming from a distance. Creativity is key. As wonderful as care packages, emails, and mixed CDs can be, a real relationship often needs more. That drastic lack of physical interaction and intimacy can be a real hurdle for many separated couples. Yet, the lack of physical presence doesn't mean you have to be left hot and bothered.
Nora Jackson, a 34-year-old Texas pharmacist, and her boyfriend, who lives in North Carolina, regularly have down-and-dirty phone sex. Nora giggles, "Having a hands-free headset for the phone helps a lot!"
Long distance sex is probably something that you've thought about doing in your long distance relationship only it might make you blush, giggle, or even shrink at the idea of actually doing it. Long distance sex can be great fun and even more important, can actually bring you to the next level of intimacy with your long distance man.
It is highly recommended to start slowly and to be aware of how you feel each and every step of the following actions; you should feel comfortable otherwise – stop! Moreover, if both people aren't completely comfortable with the idea, then you shouldn’t do it, or try very very slowly – each time getting a bit closer.
It's also a good idea to know the aspects of Making A Long Distance Relationship Work (will definitely help with long distance sex!).
* Step1: Set Your Sex Boundaries
For some, the first attempt of long distance sex with a partner can seem to be quite awkward, therefore I highly suggest start by talking about it. Start communicating the intimacy issue in a very gentle way with your man; you can start by asking him how he feels with the absence of physical intimacy? What makes him feel intimate feelings toward you? What is intimacy for him? Does he know something about long distance sex? Has he ever tried it before? If yes, how was it?
To eliminate some of that initial embarrassment, you should both mention the idea of the experiment as well as the limit of your desired kinkiness (just in case you go "buck-wild" too quickly and cross your partner’s personal boundaries). However, this first chat should not occur right before you “get down to business”; this could create massive unwanted pressure. Most people find it uncomfortable to be in the bright spot light when beginning the experience of long distance sex, it usually takes some time and is best when done on a gradient.
Here are few more questions you can ask in order to awaken this kind of conversation:
- What makes you feel intimate with a girl? Letters? Hugs? Sex? Cooking together?
- What is sex for you? How important is it for you in a relationship?
- Have you ever done long distance sex? If yes, how was it?
- Does long distance sex embarrass you?
- What awakens you sexually?
* Step 2: Take Some Sexy Photos
If both of you are willing to try long distance sex, it’s best to start with taking some sexy photos of yourself and have your partner do the same. Share them with each other. Men especially need visuals to get them in the mood. This will also help you get even more comfortable with your body. And that is always important for your sex life.
* Step 3: Create The Right Mood
Set up a date. Try to schedule it at night time so that you'll both be in an intimate mood (if you both live in two completely different time zones, one can also make a sunny day more chill, just close all the blinds in the house and create darkness for a more intimate vibe).
One hour before your sexy date it's important to get into the mood before contacting your man. Play some music, light some candles, wear something that makes you feel sexy, and maybe look at a photo of your lover to help coax you into the mood.
* Step 4: Share Intimate Thoughts And Fantasies
In the beginning of your date, start by sharing intimate thoughts and words with your partner; it involves a lot of sexual imagination to be able to know how to share intimate thoughts. Tell your partner what turns you on. Words and sounds are the key here, because you are not able to actually touch each other. It is not what you say, but how you say it. You could say the dirtiest thing in the world and yet sound like an electronic encyclopedia... :-) so be aware!
It will be easier to start on the phone rather face to face (via webcam); you will probably feel less embarrassed. If you don't know how to phrase your thoughts into words it is recommended to start with reading each other erotic stories. There are erotic books that can help you learn how to share intimate thoughts and fantasies you have.
Try to read your lover an erotic story at bedtime. Go with the stories that describe best the fantasy you have with your partner. Read the stories out loud and feel how your partner reacts to these stories. It is always best to do this before bedtime (even better in bed! This works if you have a laptop and wireless Internet). If your partner knows the book, ask him to choose the stories he likes most so that you can read them to him. You can also play really sexy music in the background to make him more turned on and excited.
The next step is having this conversation through a webcam. It really helps when you see your partner (webcams these days are very inexpensive and easy to connect). If you've already gone through dirty talk and the webcam, you both can go further and watch movies together that have romantic sex scenes in them. If romantic sex scenes aren't your thing, you can also go for pornographic movies if you feel like you need more arousal. There are lots of women who really don't like the hardcore porno these days, but you can find porno with more taste (with a more romantic feel, with more sentiment for women).
Another idea is to try HoochyMail, a site where you can instantly compose and e-mail each other erotic fantasies customized with your own dirty details.
* Step 5: Compliment His Body
Compliment your partner’s body. When complimenting, you make it more arousing for him and make him feel more confident with his physical attributes especially his private parts. He will really love this... your words will be very pleasing to his ears and help him get closer to the climax.
* Step 6: It's Time To Touch…
To turn up the beat, sensually undress your clothes. Than start touching yourself and explain to him what you're doing (in detail) and let him do the same to himself. Now, let him tell you where he touches you and do the same to him. If you want him to say certain things to you, tell him, try not to play guessing games. If moans and whispers get you excited, ask him to do these things for you. Also, try and understand what gets him excited and do the same for him.
To raise the passion you can begin by making sounds as you exhale. These sounds should usually be instinctive and relaxed such as "uh," "ah," "oh," or "mmm." Here you are able to comfortably drop your jaw to widen your mouth if wanted. Do not analyze these sounds; there is no need to worry whether you are making a correct sound, they should be most natural to you.
* Step 7: It's Curl Up Time
Don't hang up. Stay there with each other a few more minutes. Share with him how you feel; 'embrace' him with love words and let him know how satisfying the sexual intercourse was; compliment him on the things he said that made the long distance sex so exciting for you.
Last!
It's absolutely necessary to practice long distance sex with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. The more you practice the better it gets.
Remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and focus on your partner's feedback.
Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.
Have Fun!
