How To Ask Him Out?!

"After I understood how to ask him out, my heart filled with joy when he said 'YES' :-D"

So you digg the guy, but you don’t know how to ask him out?! You're afraid you might lose him as a friend if you go all the way and invite him on a date? Are you madly in love with a man that doesn't have a clue about your feelings?

Here's the most comprehensive discussion on this issue and a full and free coaching session that will help you decide what to do!

"Is it ok for a woman to ask a man out?" - this is one of those "million dollar" questions that has been asked for years and hasn't got a clear answer yet.

Some will say "It's kind of switched the roles and men may not feel as strong later in the relationship if a woman asks them out", others will claim "Come on! We're in the 21st century, it's completely acceptable for a woman to take a more active role and know how to ask him out!".

A majority of modern dating coachers say "it's more than ok that a woman asks a man out, if she's into him, it's her obligation to do that!".

So what's the right answer? Should I ask him out? Should I woo him until he notices me? Or should I do nothing?

In order to give you the best advice for this ancient-complex matter, it's important to start from the last question ("should I do nothing?") and share with you a simple, yet very effective truth I live by for years (and I feel obligated to pass it forward to you in the beginning of this coaching session):

'The wrongest thing you can do in life is to do nothing!'

Doing nothing is, by all means, the-most-wrong-thing-to-do! It isn’t effective at all and takes you absolutely nowhere. No movement or energy is being channeled nor transferred anyplace. This passive mind state of 'doing nothing' can keep you blocked and frozen with the same problems for years. It is the most unrecognized trap of our generation, so you'd better watch out from it!

I've written a whole article about this subject under the title of 'Developing A Positive Attitude' - how to be the cause of your life and not an effect of it. I highly recommend you read it!

So...

After reading my important article on being the creators of our reality, and we've understood that we can be the Cause of our own lives... we are back to our business - how to ask him out?!

The current reality is that there are lots of women who aren't getting asked out by men, and this dating vacuum is leaving behind lots of lonely woman with no reason. There is no reason at all to wait for him to invite you. The 50's are over ladies, it's time to take control of the situation and learn how to ask him out by yourselves!

TIPS On How To Ask Him Out:

Stay Cool - Prevent telling him "Will you go out with me?", or "Can we go out on a date?"; the words "date" and "go out" can be way too serious. Get used to saying something far less pressured such as "Maybe we can go for a drink sometime?", "I'll be happy to continue this conversation over lunch some day", or "Starbucks has a new Frappuccino, you wanna go check it out?". These are much more casual and non-restricting ways for how to ask him out.

Look Good, Feel Good - Take time to ensure you are looking your best. If you look good, you'll also feel good and project confidence. Don't invite him on a date when "you're legs aren't shaved – and you feel bad about it" or when you "haven't got the time to arrange your eyebrows" :-)

The Right Time - Avoid asking someone out by text or email. This is impersonal and doesn't allow you to see his reaction. If you know he gets his morning coffee at a certain place, arrange to be there at the same time. Start a conversation (this can just be a simple, everyday type of conversation); you can react to something he's wearing, holding, reading, etc. Feel when it's the right time to make a move, it's best when there's a moment he's available to notice and pay attention to you and not when he's in the middle of a phone call or a conversation with someone else. Timing is very important when learning how to ask him out.

Body Language - Eye contact is crucial, it shows the guy you are interested and lets you estimate his reaction. If he returns your gaze, you are on to a winner, but if he avoids it and walks away, he's probably not that interested. The second scenario would be if he's one of those really shy guys, he might be interested in you, but embarrassed to look straight at you, so try to be perceptive if he's not interested or just way to shy. Keep your body language open and don't be afraid of what his reaction will be. Check out this great article for more Flirting And Body Language Tips (that will help you with how to ask him out).

Don't Be Dramatic, Just Drop The Line - This is just like the 'Stay Cool' step, but more about when to drop the line. Once the conversation is flowing drop in the line….."So you wanna meet for a drink sometime?" don't be dramatic, drop the line in the middle of the conversation like any other sentence. If you won't make a big deal out of it he will probably not notice at all you're making a pass at him. Take the pressure off by not thinking about the whole 'dating' aspect, you just want to spend a little time with him to see if something develops and there is real 'chemistry' between you two. When learning how to ask him out, it's best to put the drama aside.

If He Says "Yes" Vs. If He Says "No" - If he says 'yes', Congratulations! Follow up his acceptance with a suggested location and time. Seal the deal by exchanging numbers. Don't show exaggerated enthusiasm in front of him, stay cool. If he says 'no' remember no harm done, carry on the conversation. Don't take it personally or become bitter, it just wasn't meant to be. You never know, your confidence and attitude may make him regret his decision, or more likely there may be someone else waiting for you just around the corner! Move on ladies. Don't get stuck!

If He's Not Giving A Straight Answer - This might be an initial rejection but just to make sure he heard you, you might want to slightly suggest again. If he's still not responding than it is reasonable to assume he doesn't want to harm your feelings yet he's not interested. Carry on as before, and again – don't take it personally. There could be millions of reasons why he ignored your suggestion. Move on!

Move On - Well done. Whether you secured a date or not you should be proud of yourself. If you were turned down, don't worry, you just aren't his type, but you probably made his day. It's always better to give it a shot than spend your life thinking 'what if...?'.

It's important not to get too stressed about how to ask him out, just be yourself, keep your confidence, and most important: let your natural charm and personality shine through.

Good luck and have faith,

Coach Mili