Dating Guide Online Tactics
For Making the First Online Move

"This dating guide online made it easier for me to contact online guys"

Looking for dating guide online ideas for improving your online flirting skills? Want to have success with the men you find interesting online?

How do you go about making that first online move? What should you write in order to awaken their interest towards you?

Cyberspace provides a safe, anonymous space to flirt and exchange different thoughts and feelings without being exposed.

 

But, who should make the first move?

Most of us (women) expect men to do the first move. This is an obsolete tradition that has no place in the modern world.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #1

• Don't Be Shy, Make The First Move!

Gals, are you sick of rules that tell you to be shy and wait for the guys to make all the moves? Most women are… (Most guys are too, for that matter). So break ground and make the move!

If you're still laboring under the belief that it's always the men who should contact the women then I suggest you let go of these beliefs when you're inside the online dating scene; it will most likely delay your chances of establishing a relationship. You could be waiting a very long time if you don't make a move by yourself.

It's important to be the cause of your needs and wants, choosing YOUR desired men and making the first online contact with them can increase your chances of sharing your life with the right partner (rather then compromising and waiting for men to contact you, of whom many might not interest you at all).

Surveys have also revealed that the vast majority of men are not put off by women contacting them and in fact find it quite flattering. If the man is shy this could be the best and possibly only way to make contact.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #2

• Identify The Main Hooks

When reading your desirable men's profile you will be able to localize his main passions in life and lots of things he is interested in (especially in the "about me" section). These things are called Hooks and these hooks help us to initiate first conversation.

For example here is a (well written) profile of a guy. The bold words are the hooks:

"Tango in Buenos Aires ... Musicals in London 's West End... An architectural tour of the Sydney Opera House - I grew up mostly in the US , but my Russian parents' cultural influence is still with me (and I still fight with my sister over leftovers of my mom's Salat Olivye :). Hanggliding in Rio ... Scuba in Bora Bora .... Horseback in Belize Jungle - I'm not a thrillseeker, just always looking for opportunities; see, learn, explore. Still, my playful side predominates. Bright colors make me happy (as did this year's carnival in Venice). I write melodies in my head - and if only I could sing them (thankfully there's the piano). I'm convinced that I'm lucky - not just because of winning both a cruise to Tahiti and a chance to sing with Iron Maiden, but more appreciating coming from a family that showed me what it looks like to be normal and happy. I've recently moved to San Francisco, and have had a fantastic time discovering my new home. The rest of the journey... I'd love to share."

This guy has many Hooks to “hook on”. Many of them deal with outside recreations, music, art, and traveling to many places. Women that find this guy appealing should start by writing something that they can hook on, for example:

"I heard so much about the carnival in Venice , seems like something that shouldn't be missed :-)”.

It's always a good idea to ask a question or two, that way the guy can hook on to your questions and write back to you. An example: “I love musicals… what musicals did you see in London? My favorite is Phantom of the Opera”.

Asking questions that have these hooks inside of them will show a genuine interest in what the other person is saying and will increase the chances he will answer back very quickly. Asking men about them is a good way to ensure they have something to talk about if they want to write back.

The reason this works is because it establishes a similar reality. When you become interested in what the other side is interested in, it gives a good foundation for starting conversation. When you try to connect to someone else's reality, it sparks conversation and heightens your bond and understanding towards each other. It will also help you to boost your communication skills.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #3

• Suite The Guy's Mood (Tone)

Most initial impressions come from how we say or write things. The emotional tone is very important. One of the key things in initiating written or spoken conversation is to match your listener's mood, even if it's just for a moment, this can raise the sympathy between the two of you within seconds.

It's the same if a friend would burst into tears, you would probably suite your tone to fit her; talk softer, with more compassion to calm her down.

When you approach someone whose profile caught your eye you have to make a quick judgment by re-reading their profile and determine whether they're cheerful, quiet, shy, bored, etc. and then adjust your tone accordingly.

Of course you still want to be yourself, not try being something you are not, this is just a way to make your first move and start conversation.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #4

• Use Flirting Codes And Dating Guide Online Etiquette

I keep on getting these e-mails from my wonderful women readers saying: "It's hard to flirt via email because flirting is so much about physical attraction and eye contact.”

You're probably asking yourself, "How in the world do I flirt online?". There are some who think that without the non-physical cues such as smiling, laughing, tossing of hair, quick or playful glances, flirtatious speech and suggestive body language; it might inhibit our ability to flirt online. Well, that's wrong!

Many dating sites nowadays offer handy features to help you reach someone for the first time; features like “winks”, “kisses”, etc. These features are basically different ways to send someone a quick preset message with the click of a button to let them know you are interested.

Dr. Monica Whitty, University of Western Sydney researcher, made a study of the art of cyber flirting. She finds that "the Internet is a place where there is a meeting of minds, an absence of the body. Despite the lack of non-verbal cues to convey sexual attraction"; she found that "many people find cyberflirting to be just as effective as offline flirting, if not easier".

You can always put flirting words in between two stars, for example: *chuckle*, *frown*, *poof*, *smile*, *smirk*, *wink*, etc. Once you put the word in between stars, it's a way of showing emotion. There are many more techniques, learn how to become a better online chatter.

Many online daters have mastered the art of flirting by using certain online etiquette. Knowing about online etiquette can also save time and also add a little flirtation into the conversation. Check out this whole page written on Dating Guide Online Etiquette.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #5

• Write Back Soon (Most Of The Time :-)

Try writing back to the e-mails you get quite soon. This shows the guy that you have an interest in talking to him. This will make him feel confident about corresponding with you.

The reason I say “Most Times”, is that there are times when you should wait a bit before answering; possibly a few hours or even a whole day or two. You do this when you want the other side to desire, wait, and look forward to your response; this is best used after you have been corresponding for awhile.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #6

• Be Patient, Don't Judge So Fast

Sometimes it will take someone a while to write you back (not everyone checks their e-mail every day). As you may know, we have our calm days and we have our more hectic days; if someone hasn't written you back as fast as you would have hoped, don't judge them, assume they are having one of those hectic weeks.

It's also important not to judge someone for a spelling mistake or a word or too they've used that reminds you of your mother… it's important to be a bit more patient, it takes time to get to know someone.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #7

• Keep It Short

You may include some information about yourself but please don't write your life-biography in your e-mails. Most people wouldn't bother reading that much and, after all, you are only trying to start a conversation. 

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #8

• Use Your Sense Of Humor

Humor is sexy ladies! Use it. Remember; don't say something like “Hi, my name is Judy and I have a great sense of humor”, because that doesn't really show that you have one. It's best to really write something witty or humoristic.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #9

• Give Out Compliments (Only If You Really Mean Them)

One of the best ways to flirt online is to send out a sincere compliment. You might say to someone who plays the piano, "I think it is awesome that you play piano." Others can be "Your writing inspired me", “You seem like a really interesting person”, “You have a lovely smile”, etc.

Dating Guide Online Tactic #10

• Don't Think Too Much

Joining the online dating scene means you're going to have lots of correspondences with men. Don't get stuck on every word someone tells you. Try not to be offended from online rejections or ignorance's. It's just a question of realizing that you are as good as everyone else. Improve what you see as faults, and realize your strengths.

If someone tries to put you down, let them know immediately. No yelling, but direct "I'm not interested" or just ignore them, don't let the negative energy get to you.

 

Dating Guide Online Tactic #11

• Be Confident

Well, you have to like yourself. Confidence is the most important tip I can give when approaching men online. A lack of confidence is noticed within the first 3-4 sentences.

When that little voice in your head constantly makes self-judgments about what you say, it can lower your self-esteem. Negative thoughts can eat away at your chances of finding love. It's important not to give authority to your negative voice, feed your positive voice and believe in yourself; learn more about the power of positive thinking.

It is very important that you ladies feel good with whom you are when you speak to guys online. Don't put yourselves down while chatting. Appreciate your life, your family, your background, your occupation, etc.

Of course there is a difference between arrogance and confidence… It's important to stay humble and not be vane; it's just a matter of keeping a positive self-image. Confidence is sexy!

 

Last but not least...

It's worth making sure your profile is as good as it can be and include pictures of you before you start contacting people. Check out the complete dating guide online on How To Create A Knockout Dating Profile.

Good luck,