Dangers of Online Dating While Surfing Online
Don't
let the potential dangers of online dating hold you back. You only need
to exercise caution when getting to know men online (just like in your
off-line life).
Every day, hundreds of
thousands of women find love with the help of online dating services.
You can, too.
A very smart teacher once told me “the best defense from fear is knowledge” (I couldn't agree more). And so, to help you out, I sat down and wrote the most detailed article on the ‘dangers of online dating while surfing online' for all the women-daters in the world!
I'll help
you play it safe. So just sit back, get your scrolling finger ready,
and most important… RELAX!
* Your Personal Information is PERSONAL
Make sure your profile doesn't include personally identifiable information (name, address, home/work phone number, email address). When considering dangers of online dating, your home phone number and full name provide easy ways to track who you are and where you live.
Remember , your safety is more important than giving out public info. Everybody on the whole Internet can read your profile. It's exactly the same as talking to a stranger on the street in an elevator. Be aware of your surroundings, and only give information you are comfortable with strangers having. If you wouldn't say it to a stranger standing next to you in an elevator, or if you wouldn't say it to a friend surrounded by strangers in an elevator, why would you say it in an online forum?
Apply real world standards
to your online actions.
Another one of the dangers of online dating you should be aware of is
identity theft (which is the number one cyber crime). Don't make it
easier for cyber criminals. Identity theft requires only three separate
pieces of real information: full name, birth date, and social security
number. Don't mention these items in your profile, and don't reveal all
three individual pieces of information to the same person.
Dangers of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
* Open a New Email Account
Never respond from your personal email address, which might have your name or surname in it. Create a new e-mail address just for your online dating correspondences and don't include your real name, your username or any other personal information in it, try to be as neutral as you can. You can make it light-hearted and use something like “tennis-champ@gmail.com” or “horse_lover@yahoo.com”.
In most e-mail accounts there is an option to add your signature to automatically appear in every email you send out. Make sure this email signature option is turned OFF.
* Anonymous Phone and IM Services to Chat
When it's time to move your communication to the next level from email to chat it's best to use services like MSN messenger and Skype to communicate (rather than home/cell/work phone numbers). Even if you have your own personal MSN messenger and Skype Accounts, it's best to open new ones just for your online dating correspondences. Make sure no personal information is written anywhere in your new accounts.
Dangers of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
* Stick to Using Paid Online Dating Services
Think about it, free online dating services and chats provide a greater opportunity for potentially dangerous people (they never have to provide any credit card information or anything else that can identify them). Most dangers of online dating take place when using free online dating services. There is some truth to the saying, " You Get What You Pay For "; most highly known and used online dating services have a much safer platform to be apart of. I've already done the work for you and found the most reputable online dating services, check out the articles I've written on the subject.
* Choose a Neutral Username For Your
Profile
Just like choosing the name for your email account, try choosing a light-hearted and neutral username that doesn't have any personal info in it and is still catchy.
Everybody wants an eye-catching username, but exactly whose eye are you catching?
Chances are, if you call yourself “NastiChick” or “SexyBunny69” you'll most likely be receiving responses from “XXXSpankMeXXX”..
A serious username like “LetsGetMarried” might be a bit too serious and will most likely attract those looking for marriage.
So when choosing a username be aware of any loaded meanings it may have.
*
Collect Info About the Men Your Cyber Dating With
Collect as many details as possible about your man BEFORE planning to meet off-line; Google his real name, his company name, location, etc. I was surprised to learn that my current life partner had Googled me when we first met. It doesn't bother me; I think it's a smart thing to do. The only reason a person should be upset at you for doing this is if that person really has something to hide.
Just remember that if you're looking for a “Jo Smith”, you're most likely gonna run into millions! So make sure you've got enough info to find the specific guy.
You can also consider running a background check. The two leading background checks online are Intelius and UsSearch. Background check information can include: criminal report, sex offender check, lawsuits, judgments, liens, bankruptcies, home value & property ownership, 30 year address history, relatives & associates, neighbors, marriage records, and more. Implementing a backround check will lower the chances of bumping in to potential dangers of online dating.
And
most importantly, use common sense!
Dangers of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
* Keep a Log of Your Online Emails and Conversations
The anonymity of online dating is usually a two-sided coin. On the one hand, it helps you weed out the potential crazies while your in your pajamas and behind the safety of your screen. On the other hand, however, it makes it easier for the crazies to come across as less dangerous (than they might have seemed under real-life circumstances).
By keeping a log and saving all the interactions you've had and may have with your new online guy, you can take your time to track and observe the conversations for red flags or other inconsistencies that you may have not noticed.
As you chat via email and Skype you'll most likely be able to notice certain characteristics of the online guys you chat with. Do they seem to get antagonistic or angry easily? Are they controlling? Do they avoid some of your questions? These can be questionable characteristics that tell you it's time to move on.
* Beware of
Married People
A few years ago, MSNBC reported that up to 30% of people using online dating services are married! It is unfortunate, but the facts show there are married people using online dating services. They'll even go as far as to meet people! To help you discover whether you're in touch with a married man, check out my article about one of the known dangers of online dating - “Dating a Married Man”.
* Let's Talk About Sex? Or Not…
The best protection from an online sexual scammer and more dangers of online dating is not to use any sexual talk in your profile or while chatting. It's easy - refuse to discuss sex with strangers. Remember the elevator? You won't walk into an elevator and ask a stranger when the last time he had sex or what color underwear he's wearing… right? Same thing goes for Internet correspondence.
People aren't always who they seem to be on the Internet. Some of those people are sexual predators. As advertisers know very well, sex sells. Before "selling" on an online dating service, think for a moment about whom you may be selling to…
Acting in a sexually provocative manner will more easily capture the attention and attract those who intend to do harm and can entice more dangers of online dating. This is an unfortunate, but well-documented facet of human nature.
Think about the image of yourself that you project online. Make intentional and calculated choices about that image. Make sure the descriptions your write about yourself, the username you choose, and the photos you upload reflect the image you want to project of yourself. If you choose a provocative account name or upload provocative pictures don't be surprised if you get undesirable responses.
While some predators can be extremely patient, most are interested in speedy gratification. Just make sure to be on the guard and be as sharp as you can be when chatting online. Remember, these sexual predators are not only online; they're of course in the real world to. Dating online gives you the head start to look for red flags in a safer behind-your-own-screen environment.
Dangers
of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
* Love at First… Website?
The “exotic” quality of cyber-romances can attract us women. The lover's presence enters your home (or office) without the person physically being there, which feels very magical.
But ladies, on a more down-to-earth level, and with all the respect to your exciting-online flame, you don't know the guy!
It's important to be realistic when dating online. It is easy to get swept away by the excitement and possibilities of online dating. If your new online guy insists that you provide a mailing address so that he can send you a gift, allow your common sense and better judgment to remind you the importance of the first tip before you put yourself in a dangerous situation.
There are people that fall in love at first sight… but on a website? Not a good idea… Be suspicious if your date starts saying "I Love You" after meeting for the first time - or even worse, before even meeting! Statements like, "I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you" are usually unrealistic.
Remember that all of us, no matter how attractive or successful, probably have self esteem issues -- they're part of life. Romance scammers can be quite manipulating– learning steadily about your weak spots and by doing this gaining your empathy towards them (this is one of the dangers of online dating to be aware of).
* His Photograph
It's important not to rely on his photograph. It could be an old picture or at worse a picture of someone else entirely. I'm not saying “all guys on the internet are liars”, you just need to lower your expectations when seeing a photograph.
First of all most people look different to us when we see them first in a photograph and then in real life (in real life you see 360 degrees of how they look, a photograph is so 2-Dimensional, it couldn't never project a whole image of a person).
I once dated someone who sent me loads of recent pictures of himself and still when I met him he looked different in my eyes. It's best to put most of your emphasis on how the guy writes, expresses himself, how he treats you, if he's interested in you, etc. The photo is just there to give you a general picture, don't rely on it too much (as I said before, it could be also be a fake photo).
Dangers of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
* Red Alerts to Pay Attention To When it Comes to Dangers of Online Dating
Yes! Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should be concerned if your online guy exhibits any of the following without an acceptable explanation:
• Offers inconsistent
information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, job, etc.
• Refuses to speak to you on the phone even after ongoing online intimacy.
• Fails to give direct answers to direct questions.
• Appears significantly different in person from his/her online persona.
• Never introduces you to friends, colleagues or family members.
* Spam and Solicitation
Spam is more irritating and annoying than dangerous. Spamming is the act of unwanted commercial advertising material (as junk mail) and it is known as spam. Soliciting is the act of urging someone to buy something.
If you're being spammed or solicited by someone you've met through an online dating service, cease contact with that person and report their behavior to the online dating service as inappropriate.
* Online Dating
Scams
Another of the dangers of online dating is online dating scams. Online dating scams are more serious than spam and solicitation because the perpetrators are more sophisticated and the stakes are higher, both financially and emotionally.
There are different variations of online dating scams but in general a perpetrator posts a fake profile on an online dating service, tries to become friends with other online dating users and manipulates their emotions with the main purpose of withdrawing money from the victim.
Until now, many of these scammers come from Russia , Eastern Europe and Africa and usually target men, although anyone can fall in this manipulative net, you just need to be extra cautious.
If you feel you need more information about these specific dangers of online dating, read Russian Scams, African Scams and True Scam Stories and Letters you can find online. Education and alertness are the best forms of protection against online dating scammers and remember the golden rule: never send money to someone you've met online .
Dangers of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
Just in case dear ladies, if you're saying
to yourselves “it won't happen to me”,
read this real story of a woman who used a free online dating service:
| “I've
recently experienced my own life lesson whirlwind romance with a Cyber
Guy. It was exhilarating while it lasted, but ended with a very painful
thump. I was caught by surprise. I joined a free online chat community
in hope of making new friends my own age. I wasn't looking for romantic
entanglements at all and didn't know too much about the dangers of
online dating. The online romance scammer knows this is an ideal
opportunity to slip in under the radar. My Cyber Guy dangled marriage
and a long, companionable future together. Compatibility seemed far
above the norm. I believe that much of that compatibility was
manufactured specifically for my benefit. He turned out to be the Still Married Guy -- with Divorced on his Profile -- on what may well be a simple notch-the-bedpost quest. He was very smooth, a ruthless charmer. He had several other women in various romantic stages -- up and coming -- the break-up -- post-break-up, but still “friends”. For four weeks I heard that I was the most amazing woman he'd ever been with, and certainly the only one he was romancing. He swore the other women he spoke with were simply friends, or had romantic delusions he did not share. After the break-up I learned he told others they were his one, and only. All's fair in love and war? Not. At this age, we tend to put more of ourselves out there. We're honest, not coy. Cyber Guy had been through at least six women in the online community in six months, traveling long distances to meet them, or inviting them to his home. That's quite a pace; an average of four weeks per woman. He spent eight or more hours a day, nearly every day, stroking his various relationships. I don't know how he managed to keep all of his story variations straight. I fell for it. I accepted many of his lies at face value until we met. Especially then, the charm was turned on full blast. I broke several of my own rules in order to enjoy his company. I overlooked deal breakers. Luckily, I was targeted for a quick breakup. He wasn't over his wife. He needed to deal with his marriage. Both blessings in disguise, it turns out. I'll survive, a smarter, more careful woman in the future knowing much more about the dangers of online dating. It could have been much worse”. |
Dangers of Online Dating - Play it Safe!
Don't be discouraged to try online dating because of stories like this and the dangers of online dating I've written about in this article. Online dating is a wonderful way to find love, you just need to be on the guard and know all the dangers of online dating. That's why I'm here! To open your eyes and become more aware of this thing called Online Dating.
Good outcomes are more likely when we are aware of ourselves, and our surroundings. For the best chance at online dating success:
* Know who you are and what you looking for.
* Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
* Cherish your privacy and release information on an equitable basis.
* Take your time! Moving too quickly is usually a red flag.
* Use every tool at your disposal to discover whom you are dealing with.
Keep in mind that to grow any relationship, you have to give a little to get a little; so don't be afraid to make connections. With a little common sense, you should be able to avoid that "one bad apple."
Play it safe and take care :-)
